“So,” Stephenson started,” when are we going, anyway?”

“Walk with me,” replied Sidewinder as the two stepped aboard what may very well have been the world’s most majestic time-traveling zeppelin.

“You know, Stephenson, they say a good time-traveling zeppelin is like a good woman,” Sidewinder said as the pair moved through the awe-inspiring structure, which put the Bat Cave, Fortress of Solitude, and Death Star to shame. Somewhere, Darth Vader wept,  then shouted “NOOOOOOooooOOOOOOoooo” in a way that was honestly more hilarious than it was dramatic.

“And how is that?” Stephenson queried as he strolled past the zep’s onboard game room, which did not contain games. Rather, it was full of wild game. For hunting. A rhino looked up at Stephenson while he passed.

“Well, it’s quite simple, really,” Sidewinder began. “You see, a good woman can fly and travel through time.”

Stephenson looked incredulously at Sidewinder as the two approached an ominous door marked “DO NOT ENTER.” “Good sir, I’m afraid I’ve never seen a woman possessed with those capabilities.”

“And that,” Sidewinder grinned slyly, “is why I’ve yet to meet a woman who’s right for me.”

The door swung wide as steam-powered electrical lights flickered to life. Stephenson’s jaw dropped as his eyes darted about. People. Everywhere. But they were in tubes. And that’s when he saw their faces.

“Watley,” Sidewinder mumbled casually. “Come along now. “

Sidewinder pressed a big red button, releasing one of the Watley clones from its tube. “What would you have of me, sir?” Wately asked, not missing a beat.

“Fire up the time machine, and fetch my guest and me some dinner,” Sidewinder said. “I’m not in the mood for anything in particular. Surprise me.”

Stephenson finally removed the cat from his tongue. “You keep an army of Watley clones aboard your zeppelin?!” he asked in a panicked tone.

“Oh, not just Watley,” replied Sidewinder. “Everyone I’ve ever cared about. Supervillains always target people’s loved ones. It’s why so many heroes don secret identities. But costumes are stupid and inconvenient. So I built a clone factory.”

Just then, the zeppelin’s time cortex rumbled to life. The zeppelin shook as its engines revved.

“Fantastic butler, isn’t he?” Sidewinder said as walked over to the captain’s chair. “Better buckle your seatbelt!”

“Now then, onward to 1492!”

“1492?” Stephenson asked. “But that’s when…!”

“Precisely!” Sidewinder exclaimed. “So you understand.”

Part III

Part V

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